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Confronting your Self, Non-Bothering with Originality, and other ways to hear the Truth
Die to Self. Bear your Cross. And follow Jesus.
Cole F. Watson
September 14, 2023
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3R THURSDAY: Confronting your Self, Non-Bothering with Originality, and other ways to hear the Truth
In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis beckons people into the “house” of Christianity so that they may ultimately find a room in which to stay. In the last chapter, Lewis summarizes what it truly means to be a Christian: dying to self; living through Christ:
But there must be a real giving up of the self. You must throw it away "blindly" so to speak. Christ will indeed give you a real personality: but you must not go to Him for the sake of that. As long as your own personality is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all. The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether. Your real, new self (which is Christ's and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange?
The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making.
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up your self, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it.
Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for your self, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.
This is the great irony of Christianity:
In order to live, you must die.
In order to have life, you must lose it.
In order to find joy, you must bear your cross.
Easy words to read (or hear). Hard to believe.
The same was truth for Peter.
And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”
All good and well, but what then are we to do in the day-to-day?
In what ways do you need to die to your Self?
How’s your pride? Are you imagining winning a conversation before it’s had?
How’s your anxiety? Any more panic attacks at work?
How’s your lust? Are you walking to her house? At her door? Inviting your Self in? Walk. Stand. Sit. See Psalm 1:1.
How’s your work ethic? Are you planting seeds and tending the soil? Or just praying for rain, hoping God will finally bless you?
How’re you loving your spouse? What’s the temperature of your home? Or to borrow from Doug Wilson, what’s the “aroma” smell like?
Or better yet, when you think of your Self, what comes to mind?
Personality.
Ego.
Accomplishments.
Resume.
Is it a connection of memories, feelings, and thoughts that are somehow connected to this thing we call conscience?
Surely it’s more. Surely we need not bother with Originality when we are ruminating on Jesus’s invitation to deny our Selves, take up our cross, and follow Him.
Let’s frame this in another way:
When you’re alone with your thoughts, who do you hear?
Whose voices are those?
When your mind is drifting and sailing out to the boundless seas, where is heading? What course is it charting?
Or are those waters too deep? Too dark? Too scary? So you rush back to shore and find anything to tether you to the Known, the Safe, the Secure—the Self?
There’s no need for an anchor if the boat never leaves shore. The storms will still come, but it’s a lot easier to weather storms on land than it is on the sea. Even the disciples knew this. See Matthew 8:23-27.
I recently came across a study where participants were given a choice between spending 15 minutes alone or giving themselves an electric shock. Earlier in the study, the shock was so bad that a majority of participants said that they would pay not to receive that shock again.
Can you guess what happened when given the choice between Nothing and the Shock?
Yep, those people voluntarily shocked themselves. Of course, this is no surprise to us. We see it all the time: as soon as there is the slightest amount of boredom or discomfort, we whip out our phones. It’s almost as if they were designed to be this addictive…
This is akin to the Marshmallow Test. That’s where a group of kids were given a choice between one marshmallow now or two marshmallows in 15 minutes (provided that the kid didn’t eat the first marshmallow).
And what did the study show?
Delaying gratification is a huge indicator of success. Go figure.
So where does your mind go? Maybe you’re listening to this on your way to or from work. Does the hum of the road ease your mind or cause additional friction?
Where do you find your thoughts lingering such that you’d rather have a shock or marshmallow now rather than letting your mind wonder?
Desiring the quick hit of dopamine is indicative of what needs to die. It’s avoidance behavior. It’s Escapism 101. It’s being too afraid to navigate the deep water because of the Truth you will you find.
So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”
Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
Be not bothered about Originalty (your sin is not unique despite the enemy’s lies) and the truth of our sin will show itself present.
Or in other words:
Die to Self. Bear your Cross. And follow Jesus.
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?
I pray that we find solace in Christ this week, away from those noisy thoughts that we desperately try to escape.
I pray that we confront our Selves, kill our sins, and rejoice in the life found in Jesus.
And I pray that our joy would be unceasing and that our prayers would be unyielding.
Thank you for reading. If this encouraged you, please forward this email to someone else who needs encouragement as well.
See you next Thursday,
CFW
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